Penn State (3-0) continued its tour of the Pac-10 conference as they took on the Arizona Wildcats (0-2). FACT: Wildcats are like Nittany Lions except smaller and not frightening. The Lions were looking to stay undefeated. Also, if they beat enough Pac-10 teams, they can pretend that the Rose Bowl didn't happen.

The Lamecats kicked off the game by bustin' out the walking stick. Their refusal to swing started a parade around the bases which led to five runs. The Nittany Lions would have to rally, and rally they did. Todd "T-Diddy" Lechner made a statement by leading off the bottom of the first with a home run. This started a flurry of hits by Joel "RBI" Shadle, Steve "The Stud" Scheiner, Jim "Mello" Lello, "Judge" Judy Engle, and Mike "One Man" Band. Kevin "Cupcakes" Wagner crushed a three-run double to give Penn State the lead. Kendra "The Rocket" Griffiths then singled home a run, aided by a controversial "fair" call by guest umpire Kevin Ripp. Arizona requested an instant replay of the hit, but then remembered that there were no cameras, so the call stood. Reached for comment after the game, Ripp remarked, "I called it fair because it was fair. Maybe?"

Though Arizona tried to respond, they never fully recovered from that demoralizing first inning. The game quickly turned into a laugher in more ways than one. Band clobbered a grand slam, making it all the way around the bases without finding any puddles. Scheiner also homered - taking advantage of the bizarre ground rules and dropping a lazy fly ball over the short left field fence. Griffiths picked up another RBI on a hit that was clearly fair. Marc "Mad Dog's Sugar Daddy" Morlock struck out looking, which made Charlotte cry. Ripp homered and nearly ran over Pat "Dublin" Dunne at home plate. By the time the wacky antics had subsided, PSU had racked up a 23 - 7 victory.

In addition to her two RBI's, Griffiths pitched almost the entire game to earn Player of the Game honors (with all due respect to Ripp's creative baserunning and officiating). She earned two strikeouts in the process. The three-way race for Penn State Strikeout Champion promises to provide many thrilling moments throughout the season. If Penn State maintains this level of pitching and hitting, they will be the team to beat in August. The next opponent is Arizona State on May 21.

This writeup brought to you by Andy "Fair-ish" Kilmer.