In Game 5 of the 2009 CAN Softball Season, the Penn State Nittany Lions (4-0) challenged the Arizona State Sun Devils (0-2). For the Nittany Lions, this was the final in a series of games against Pac-10 opponents. Would PSU be able to overcome their jet lag and remain undefeated? Also would they figure out what a Sun Devil is? What's the deal with those creepy little things?

Lyle "Lutz" Yablonsky kicked off the game with a home run on the first pitch. His drive went off an outfielder's glove, a scene that would be replayed throughout this game. The Nittany Lions tacked on another run when Cam Richardson drove in Mike "One Man" Band. In the bottom of the first, Kevin "The Kid" Folk took a spill in left field, which made Kevin Junior cry. Karoline was okay with it though. Folk made up for it with a diving catch on the next better. A man on a mission, Folk proceeded to blast a home run and tried to flatten Fran "Socially Conscious" Krylowicz. Later, Ryan "PBR" Bowers came home on Band's sac fly. The Sunny Delights tried to rally but were stopped by fine defensive plays by Kevin "Cupcakes" Wagner and George Misset.

Penn State slowly began to pull away. Pamela Klein Spiccoli started a rally with a walk. Hits by Wagner, Richardson, Krylowicz, and "Judge" Judy Engle followed. Some strong fielding preserved the lead. Justin "Hova" Holtz fielded a weak grounder and threw home to Engle, who blocked the plate and tagged the runner who tried to take her out. The Solar Evil Spirits had not learned their lesson; the following inning, Kevin Ripp threw to Krylowicz who tagged out the aggressive baserunner out at second. For taking charge on the play, Coach Lutz gave Ripp the nickname of "The General". Reached for comment after the game, Ripp described his new moniker as "Fair". Adam Sheppard hit two late-inning home runs that probably went off someone's glove, putting the game away. The news was not all good for Sheppard; he surrendered the title of "best beard on the team" to Misset.

FACT: Arizona State is the alma mater of Barry Bonds. But there would be no asterisks next to Penn State's 15-8 victory, unless you count the 11 runs surrendered by Arizona State's outfield. The next two games will be on Saturday, May 30. Can the Nittany Lions remain undeafeated? Will Sheppard try to recapture the beard title? Did Coach Lyle get the digits of those two tourist girls he left the game to talk to? The answers to these questions and more, on the next thrilling episode of Penn State Softball.

This writeup brought to you courtesy of Andy "Is it, like, a demon that lives on the sun? I don't get it" Kilmer.